Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
