Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
