I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
