This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
