It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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