So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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