I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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