I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
