I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I deserve this hangover.
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