i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
