I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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