Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
