You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How's work?
Spinning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize