Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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