What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
