Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize