If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
