After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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