OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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