She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
