i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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