you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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