I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize