Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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