Say something about gay babies.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You were trust falling into bushes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize