do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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