So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize