I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize