This is not my ceiling
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
