In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
