I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
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