How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
