I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am midnight drunk by noon
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
