you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize