That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
