apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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