I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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