for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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