I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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