Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
