Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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