Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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