Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
