I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
