She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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