Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
