I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
