Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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