We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
