smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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