I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
