You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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