I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I did not marry a roomba.
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