so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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