She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
