Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
